Congratulations on Your Degree! Here’s a Lifetime of Debt and a Job That Requires a Hairnet
Millions bought the promise of a better life through education. Instead, they got decades of debt. It’s time to question who really benefits.
The college brochure used to promise a portal to adulthood where education equaled elevation and success was measured in square footage. Families mortgaged their futures in exchange for the idea that a degree would guarantee stability, maybe even a faint whiff of prestige. The contract seemed simple: pay now, prosper later. Except the fine print turned out to be a lifetime subscription to financial anxiety.
Today’s graduate emerges from academia armed with an embossed receipt that says “you tried.” That paper, once revered as proof of promise, now feels like a coupon for a job that starts with “assistant to the assistant.” The gods of academia collected their offering, and what they left behind is a generation unable to afford dental insurance.
Universities market enlightenment the way luxury brands sell handbags. Governments shovel loans at eighteen-year-olds too young to rent a car. Employers advertise “entry level” roles that require five years of experience and the blood of a firstborn. And if you dare question the fairness of it all, you’re reminded that suffering builds character. Apparently, character is the only thing still affordable.
Loans: The New Rite of Passage into Modern Serfdom
In America, student loans are a generational baptism. The initiation into adulthood, complete with your first monthly payment plan that lasts longer than most marriages.
The cost of higher education has skyrocketed past inflation, wages, and common sense. The average four-year degree now costs more than a decent home. Still, parents, politicians, and high school guidance counselors push college like it’s the only legitimate life path. Don’t want to end up flipping burgers? Better sign here and saddle yourself with a quarter-million dollars in debt before you’ve even figured out how to do your taxes.
You’d expect such a massive investment to come with a return. Prestige, perhaps. Or at least a job that doesn’t include wearing a name tag. But no. And then, when the government tried to wipe even a sliver of the slate clean? Cue lawsuits, constitutional crises, and moral outrage from people who paid off their loans when tuition cost a sandwich and a firm handshake.
Meanwhile, the forgiveness that does exist is doled out like Wonka Golden Tickets.
Public Service Loan Forgiveness? Only if you can survive a decade of bureaucratic nonsense.
Borrower Defense? Sure, if your school actually committed fraud and you can prove it.
Income-Driven Repayment? A maze with seventeen exits, all of which may or may not lead to actual forgiveness.
For everyone else, its a repayment journey that ends right around the time you qualify for senior discounts at Denny’s. Provided, of course, that restaurant is hiring.
Elsewhere on Earth: Student Loans That Don’t Ruin Your Life
Zoom out and the American model of higher education starts to look less like a functional system and more like a tale told in whispers at international policy conferences. Because in much of the rest of the world, going to college doesn’t involve mortgaging your sanity.
Start with Germany, where public universities are tuition-free for most students. Yes, free. Zero. The total cost is a semester admin fee. Student loans exist but are rarely necessary. No 20-year repayment plans. No interest rates that require a degree in finance to decode. Just education as a public good, not a luxury brand.
The Nordic countries take it a step further. Not only is university free, but governments also pay students to study, offering living stipends and travel discounts. Somehow, this hasn’t led to economic collapse or hordes of lazy socialists. It’s almost as if investing in young people pays off.
Even in countries that do use loans, the burden is lighter. The UK and Australia run income-contingent systems: repay only if you earn enough, and after 30 to 40 years, whatever’s left is forgiven.
In New Zealand, loans are interest-free, unless you flee the country. Then the tax office hunts you with the determination of a Tolkien villain.
And Southeast Asia? Malaysia waives debt for high-achieving, low-income students. Thailand restructured interest rates and wiped late fees after realizing millions of borrowers had defaulted.
Compare this to the U.S., where completing a degree and meeting every payment is apparently not enough to be worthy of relief.
The Social Contract Called and It’s Not Coming Back
The deeper wound is the lie so many were sold: that college was a contract, and that if you held up your end: studied hard, followed the rules, graduated, then society would return the favor. That contract? Missing in action. Last seen in the early 2000s.
For decades, the pitch was simple: go to college, and life will fall into place. Stable job, rising wages, house, dignity. What actually happened? You got a degree, some vague “leadership skills,” and a job that pays less than your loan payments. Suddenly, adulthood meant Googling “how long can I legally live with my parents.”
And it wasn’t an unfortunate accident. It was a series of conscious policy choices.
Universities raised prices because they could.
Governments kept expanding loan programs without guardrails.
Employers began requiring degrees for jobs that used to require common sense and a pulse.
Somewhere along the line, the degree stopped being a bridge to opportunity.
And now we have a generation that did everything they were told. They played the game. But the game changed halfway through, and no one told them. They’re too “successful” to qualify for help, too broke to climb out, and too young to write it off as a midlife crisis. They’re just... stuck.
The promise was rebranded as character-building. And if you complain? You’re labeled entitled. Because apparently, asking why your $200,000 education qualifies you for a job that pays $38,000 is now a moral failing.
Mutual Accountability (But For Real This Time)
Maybe this shouldn’t all be the fault of a teenager who chose a major based on whatever sounded impressive on a college brochure. Perhaps the institutions that pushed the dream should be expected to stand by it when it flops.
If universities are going to advertise job placements and earnings statistics like they’re running a Silicon Valley IPO, then there should be consequences when their graduates end up managing shift schedules at a gas station. If your academic program consistently leads students to debt with no discernible financial return, maybe it’s time you stop charging like you’re offering a launchpad to the upper class.
Governments could help too. Maybe cap the amount students can borrow for low-return programs unless the schools provide actual financial counseling.
Employers? Time to stop treating degrees like sacred scrolls that guarantee competence. A lot of people with fancy diplomas still don’t know how to reply to an email thread without butchering it.
We don’t need an across-the-board cancellation. We need targeted, thoughtful repair: income-driven repayment plans that don’t let interest grow like mold, forgiveness for those misled or trapped, and federal rules that cut off aid to programs whose graduates consistently earn poverty wages.
And for the love of transparency, put a price tag and an earnings forecast on every degree program. If kale chips come with nutrition labels, your $80,000 sociology degree should too.
This is about holding accountable the people and institutions that sold the dream. Otherwise, let’s just call it what it was.
We are standing at a bizarre cultural crossroads. On one side, there’s the camp that sees student debtors as freeloaders with useless degrees and even worse taste in majors. On the other, there’s the reality: a generation that did everything they were told, only to discover the rules were made up and the outcomes weren’t guaranteed. If you think the only problem is personal responsibility, you’ve clearly never tried paying off $100,000 with a job that comes with a lanyard and free pizza on Fridays.
Student loan forgiveness is about whether society is still capable of honoring the deals it offers. You can’t tell millions of people that education is the path to success and then shrug when that path turns into a financial sinkhole. At some point, the condescending pep talks need to be replaced with policy.
This is about asking who built the hook, rather than letting people off it. The goal is to stop repeating a scam dressed up as opportunity. Maybe the problem isn’t just the debt. Maybe it’s the entire broken promise it represents.
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